Yes the topic is under hot debate with all the keyboard ninjas expressing their opinions. It all started when Sharmeen Obaid, an academy award winner and one of the most influential woman in Pakistan tweeted about a doctor, who after treating her sister sent an unsolicited friend request, and got fired by the hospital administration.
The topic has the nation divided, was it just an innocent request and an overreaction by a woman in position of power, or the breach of work ethics by a doctor and a justified retaliation by the family of the concerned patient?
To understand the scenario, it is important to look at the context of what Facebook is and what being a friend on Facebook means.
Facebook, an online social media and social networking service, where users can create a profile that includes their personal information. They can add other people as their “friends”, in order to exchange messages, share their location and statuses/opinions, along with digital photos, videos and links.
How much information one shares on social networking websites is within their control. Also who one wish to share this information with, is also within one’s control. Social media is a tool for connecting to people, but who exactly would you want to connect with, is the real question. We all have received and sent friend requests. How would one select who to connect with on social media and who to reject?
It all depends. Some people are way comfortable with connecting with anyone and sharing their opinions openly. Some are more private about their personal matters and would like to restrict their connections.
Let’s think about the life that was there before the Facebook was launched. Or if it seems difficult, imagine, there is no Facebook, would you like to walk up to a total stranger to show them (and give out copies that they can keep) pictures of yourself, your family and your kids? Would you like to share your wedding, honeymoon and other social event pictures with them? If your answer is no, then probably you should not be sending out request to random people on Facebook either.
Now imagine, if any stranger walk up to you and ask you to show them (and give out copies that they can keep) pictures of yourself, your family and your kids? If your answer is no, again you should not be accepting requests from random people.
The problem is that in digital world and cyberspace, people forget that it’s just a software tool, if you are not my friend in real life, then you don’t deserve to be granted access to my personal life, even when documented in the digital world.
If someone (who you don’t know or are not friends with) send friend request on Facebook, you can simply ignore and/or delete. But in some specific circumstances, a friend request is not just an innocent act. There had been debates previously about the scenarios of Facebook friendships of teacher-students and boss-employees. A doctor-patient case is also a delicate one, when it crosses the digital space.
The recent dilemma of FB friend request can be broken down and observed in individual points:
- A doctor has a professional commitment to respect the privacy of patient’s personal data and personal space. A doctor is not a random person of the street. If a stalking behavior is exhibited by the doctor, and it makes the patient uncomfortable, yes it is harassment.
- Unaccountable number of women are being stalked and harassed on daily basis on social media. Just because there was no accountability in past due to the cultures norms that makes the fears worse for being a woman, does not make it OK in any way. Calling it an innocent act is only showing the level of acceptability of such behavior in the society.
- If a woman is in position of power to retaliate, this does not make her a bad person. Sharmeen has done something that every woman wishes to do when faced with similar situation. She might actually have done some service to prevent the other men from sending unsolicited and careless “friendship” request to women just because she is your colleague, or you know her or she passed by you in the street.
People normally hate a woman who holds the power to put anyone to justice with one tweet. Some people even came up with ways to seek social justice against the brutal act of getting a doctor fired and started events and pages to shame her shamelessly [report by Samaa TV]. Just to further show the extent one would go in immorality to revenge perceived immorality.
Blaming Sharmeen in this context only shows that the majority are unconsciously programmed to jump to conclusion about woman being at fault that no one would sit down and reflect at the real problems of cyber harassment or work ethics/professionalism that the vulnerable women in our society are facing.
Thoughts from illuminated Lady 