With the social norms so fiercely directed towards the women to accuse them in any possible way, for the majority of them, it is impossible to be part of any movement like #MeToo. As a Pakistani woman, one look at the comments on the tweets of either Malala or Maryam Nawaz makes me feel disgusted. The difference of opinions and freedom of speech should not mean one has the absolute right to talk without boundaries. These negative comments can be psychologically damaging and many women who read such comments cannot imagine putting themselves on the pedestal for everyone to throw insults at them.
The whole idea in South Asian culture is that the world belongs to men, any visible woman should be punished for daring to do so. Before Twitter, it was stalking and harassing in public or workplaces (because a woman should be at home not out here in men’s space), now its the cyberspace. Twitter has somehow provided a psychological immunity under the disguise of anonymity, to the people spewing hate all the time (and mostly) without any reason and logic.
And if a woman is in the power to retaliate to such harassment or if she doesn’t care about the negative comments from the society, she becomes the evil witch. The recent famous case of Sharmeen Obaid where her single tweet was powerful enough to sack a doctor triggered the storm of hate for her from both men and women. The sad part was, everyone was so busy hating Sharmeen that no one was ready to reason and acknowledge that the behaviour from the doctor should not be socially acceptable.
Being part of academia for over a decade in Pakistan, there had been occasions when I came across the cases of female students being harassed by male teachers, supervisors or colleagues. In my capacity as their lecturer, supervisor or adviser, they would tell me what happened to them, but in 95% of the cases, they refused to lodge an official complaint. The fact that it would ruin their reputation in front of their family, friends and relatives were far worst to imagine for them. They were okay to suffer in silence because in the end, it is always the (talking) woman who is to be blamed for everything. It could be the way she dressed, walked or talked, everything is scrutinised and put under the microscope to somehow find an excuse for the male harasser; he didn’t have a choice, she tempted him.
Recently in Australia, I heard about a few cases of female international students from South Asian and Middle Eastern background, who were being harassed by male faculty members (also sadly from the same part of the world), and yet they still do not have the strength to protest against this behaviour. These men who are in the position of authority in academia, know their prey; they know the unconscious programming of cultural norms inside the brains of these women. They know that they can get away with such behaviour even when they are no longer living in societies where they came from. The official policy in academia requires the victim to lodge a complaint and the harasser has to be informed about the complaint. Things can get tricky here as without any tangible evidence, not much can be done and the situation can get worst for these female international students. The male supervisors have control over their scholarships and thesis approval, and they can make life miserable for the students.
The #MeToo movement is exclusive to the courageous and noisy ones of the western world, but not for the silent majority for whom even the mere fact of acknowledging such a thing is a nightmare. In the end, it is a mental barrier for every woman (from every race, nation or religion) to overcome the psychological fears of reputation. That is the only way that harassment will no longer be tolerated as normal behaviour.
Related Post: Why is it important to call out when one is harassed?
Thoughts from illuminated Lady 